"𝚄𝙽𝚂𝙿𝙾𝙺𝙴𝙽 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳𝚂"

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

It's 5th February 2025

Hii ....

I understood why I like transition seasons more than other seasons.

It's because they have beautiful evenings and cool breezes with fresh air.

I had always felt that with you.

I will never forget that moment, nor the girl with whom I spent all those eves.

Perhaps this is the end..🧡    

My waiting era ends here...

Take care Darlling 🌼

                          

 

                                             

                                                                ----- 🌼 ------🌼 ------🌼 -----

It's 11th January 2025, 23.18 PM

Almost Two Years Now...

I went to the Dalmia Mandir today to spend the last moments of the day. I thought maybe you knew that I would go there today. I don't know why I felt that way. It was peaceful.

BYE ...

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It's 26th December 2024, 12.15 PM

Today I don't wanna write much because words look unworthy of expression against eyes.

So, when our eyes meet for 0.0000001 sec, it will compensate for the time gap that has increased since the last cosmic event.

But I just wanna say that during my journey, I have listened to the song Imagining Us. 

I know songs have a huge impact on the listeners. listening to them needs time but the song itself has no part in passing the time instead it decorates that moment. Also what I like the most about the song is,

mostly they will never take your side ..they will always reside on the person you're thinking about.

Songs are partial. They are the only ones who will take the opposition's side in their absence.

I want to be that opposition for someone. 🌼

So, If you ever want to talk to me, and you don't know how to do that .. Send me a song.🌼

Bye bebo. 

                                                       ----- 🌼 ------🌼 ------🌼 -----

It's 23rd November 2024, 23.53 PM

Long time ...

As cold gets in the picture, you start appearing in my dreams. 

WINTER HAS ALWAYS REMINDED ME OF YOU. Now my dreams take the path of your aisle, and these are frequent, nothing can help. So I just surrender. 

The unspoken words shiver in the night as your gaze has turned into a door they can no longer open,

and your silence is the lock that keeps them out. 

They are destined nowhere else but your doorstep.

They hum ..and hum and hum.. unaware, that " the echo may love the mountain but the mountain cannot hear it". 

The street light near your house which flashes on my face when i try to look up to see you in roof ,now asks those words "why you remained here at the door step in this freezing night ? What is the point of being Unspoken ..and now Unheard? what is so special about her ? aisa kya hai usme?

To this,  they reply

"Wo taazgi hai jisse phool bhi jale

  chamak se chaand bhi dhale

  hai saadgi jaise lori ho koi

  wo jaise chaandni khile"

Next episode of light pole and Unspoken Words will be released soon....

Bye Bebo 🌼

                                                         ----- 🌼 ------🌼 ------🌼 -----

 

It's 29th May 2024, 22.37 PM

Yesterday I arrived in Rajgangpur. Felt good despite of the heat wave whirling here.

I fell sick .well, today I went out, and nothing felt relaxing. And I found out why?

There's excitement to see you.. I wanted you to find me, or we both see both of us.

But it didn't happen. So, I wanted to go through your aisle. At the same place, i don't.

The street dogs forced me to take your aisle. To be honest with my words, the moment I stepped in that Aisle,

the leaves started falling over the roads Like decorating the path and,. A gust of wind moved me through the core.

I accepted the warm welcome of the winds. And with a subtle voice, I said" Missed you too".

At least someone remembered us. Then the dilemma of "which road should be taken" vanished.

And I answered your unasked question "Kyun aaye idhar?"

by "Main Kaise nhi aata?"

Then something happened. Probably you will get that ..

Good night.

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It's 9th May 2024,02.14 AM

What is your name babe? I have said all my friends ,your name is Daisy (the flowers above).Until today. Now they know you , not like me ,but your name is not less than your identity itself. It makes me feel. Well if by god's permission i will be at RGP at 28th MAY. I don't know if i want to meet you or not  ,i don't know but ,there's always a void..  I don't know if something can fill that void or may be it will stay vacant forever..well it's not actually a void  but a place ,a place designated by your name.

Who else can fill that void. well No ONE. 

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It's 27th January 2024,19:57 PM

Is someone taking my breath away?i am feeling a little lost now...i often dream about you these days...and in the morning lost....perhaps...tonight i should not sleep..that can save me from drowning in feelings.....bcs right now...its just. like ..i am holding all things together trying not to break down

...

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It's 11th JANUARY 2024, 23:37 PM

I wouldn't be wrong if i say that it might be an uncomfortable day for you. Or may be just I am thinking a lot . And perhaps these messages never reached you. But, these are the purest in purest form.

Uncomfortable in the sense.. Wanted to wish/not wanted to wish but the day is what it is and you cant escape this day..(This is what i felt on your birthday)...Maybe want to escape/maybe to live a little longer in that day..

SEE, What you have done to me ..I don't know what i feel /what i want to feel..

(Emotional numbness)( Always happens when i want to say something or no to say but to convey anyhow )...

ACTUALLY: trying to interpret your perspective / thoughts / feelings   (for /about  ) me....

 .....But unable to do so  ...

Okay bye..and ..hnn.. Happy NEW YEAR..

                                                       ----- 🌼 ------🌼 ------🌼 -----

It's 27th DECEMBER 2023 , 19:28 PM

Dear bebo,

I am at your town ,Rajgangpur. Yes. The only thing that come into mind when i think about this place ,is YOU. I went to our spot yesterday. Well i should have gone on 25th(you know why) ,but due to some urgency i couldn't . I am searching for you the whole time after i arrived here. I want to see you and i don't.I mean i want to see you in such a way that ,it will not be melancholic for me after that Cosmic Event of eye contact (talking in terms of  Time Dilation in Special theory of relativity).

But I don't know how it is possible. What in the Universe could make that moment accepting..

But i am sure you know how? Bcs my feeling have always found the way to my heart.

Bye babe.

                                                      ----- 🌼 ------🌼 ------🌼 -----

It's 17th DECEMBER 2023, 21:43PM

Dear bebo,

Aaj kal itna kyun yaad aarhi.. har din sapna aata hai tumhara aur bada helpless sa feel karta hoon..

Aur sare sapno me dur hi rehti ho?  Paas aane ka himmat nhi kya tumme ?  i know ki jo hua uske baad shyd dono hi ek dusre ko approach na kar paye... par is baar tou tumhe hi krna hoga aur shyd thoda tym bhi lage...thoda jyada tym...ya nhi...( pata nhi actually  )...

par sapne me tou paas aahi sakti ho na..... 

kabhi kabhi lagta hai sab theek ho sakta hai...

aur kabhi kabhi lagta hai ab kuch theek nhi ho sakta...

kya krun samjh nhi aata....

                                                       ----- 🌼 ------🌼 ------🌼 -----

It's 1st DECEMBER 2023, 21:55PM

Dear bebo,

i got selected through CUET entrance, and i am pursuing my MSc. Physics at Central University ,Lucknow. i don't know what god has planned for me. But for now i am continuing with the flow.

 i Hope you're doing the same , or as usual against the thinking of the society , you're standing opposite to rules and regulations of society... whatever it may be..I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR WELL WISHER.

May be you never noticed but i have always accepted your view point.. may be because of my nature ..or may be because your thoughts are more practical.

Even now you appear in my dreams..,whatever may the dream, happy or sad, I miss you when i wake up.i always try to distract myself with different activities and thoughts, but as now i am more alone, you're more often seem taking a walk in my thoughts.

i can text you ....but..... i have already fallen enough in your eyes....so..

also i still disrespect the way you treated me at the end.

i want to forget it but i can't.

well, i could take that as a lesson.

bye babe

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It's 7th SEPTEMBER 2023,11:55 AM

Dear bebo,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🌼

wishes from the person with least priority.Or not at all.

Well I thought whole day yesterday to wish you first.

But than I thought , the moment you notice my wish ,you will get a glimpse of all that happened. 

And perhaps you'll become sad.

And I don't want to... ..

So I will wish you at night 11.59pm ..

1 min ke liye sad tou ho hi sakti ho😅.

Kal din bhar overthink krte rehna..

Well aaj mera journey hai prayag raj ke liye so bye..

Happy birthday Bebo.(it's your name, don't mind it)

Aur har saal ki tarh iss sall ka gift different hai aur mil bhi chuka hoga tumhe.. without you knowing it.

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It's 13th August 2023, 11:50PM

Dear bebo,

I really don't know what to do.I wish you are there to guide me in this phase.

Perhaps you will never . or may be it's just we're at situations where we don't want to explain to  ourselves. I know you can't explain what you're in right now..bcs i  know that..and perhaps you know what i mean.

May be we both know this will hurt the other..so it's better to stay alone.

All like it was started...STRANGERS.

I unfollowed Sissy, bcs I don't know how i feel .i do cared about her feelings but..

Just let her know that once i find out the things i am destined ..i will inform her first.

For now What am i destined to. Is a mystery to myself😅.

Hope you're doing well.. 🌼

Perhaps i have to accept some things in life.. Thing is I don't know ,if i should accept it or not.

Yet to be discovered..

Bye Babe🌼🧡

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It's 6th June 2023, 9:15 AM

Bebo,

It is too painful to live with your absence .

Everyday i say a new thought to myself ,so that i can ease myself.

But,in order to forget the pain i have always remembered you..

And I have realised ...

How it would have felt like..when someone writes a beautiful poem for you and doesn't even act like he said.. That's most painful.

I couldn't imagine how worse you've felt...

Because i can't imagine my pain now.

How you have felt..when i said

"I'll never let the tear blur the eyes of you"

But all i did was ..💔

you accepted that too ..may be bcs you cared about me more than i knew.

But i couldn't gave you time..real time..

 

So what's happening now to me are my dids

Paying off.

I am sorry Bebo.

I actually never feared of hurting your feelings..i don't know why..maybe because i thought we're too close..but that wasn't the truth.. we were in love , but with "how dreamy it will be" and not  " how dreamy it was"..or " how dreamy  it is".

I didn't knew you're not in my home.

You're home🧡..you kept me safe from my guilts,by never telling me about that..just making me realise .BUT I WAS DUMB. I didn't realised..but you still waited.

Main tumhara doshi hun.

And i should pay the price..

And i am paying everyday.

It will be hard for you too..i know..

hey Madhav 🌼

Help her in every aspect of her life.

I should have said all of this earlier..

Perhaps then situation would have been different.. 

But i always desired your presence bebo..

Shyd tumko ye feel nhi hua..but sitting cozy, and my fingers playing with your hairs, nothing to see exept your eyes...and forget that i ever existed 🌼 would be my fav time in the whole day,if once in a day

Whole month,if once in a month

Whole year,if once in a year.

Whole life ,if once everyday😌😅

But may be time demands something different from us..so both of us must do what ought to be done.

Tum wahi krna jo sahi lage tumhe..

And Believe me

EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT🧡

                                                    ----- 🌼 ------🌼 ------🌼 -----

It's 31st May 2023, 11:48am

Dear Babe,your habits still left in me somewhere... I miss the free tym i had with you. Just to hear " aaj pta hai kya hua?"

I messed up... You and your time....keep you away from me for long..and perhaps this is the confession you wanted to hear from me..

So this is me ..

I deserve your anger..but as you always did for me..give me some concession in your anger 💓..

And give me my share of your problems..

It's my right..

If you see this message in this lifetym..

Today's weather is beautiful....just like you.

I am here...for now..i have nothing to give you except my love language....🌼

~🧡 "An Orange heart". You remember?

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The words will ensure that you know, what it takes for a boy like me to get ,who he dreamt for. 

 I wished to stop you someday on path and bend the knee and ask you to stay..

But perhaps my mere presence is not delightful for you.

And i am not allowed to msg you so i can write here.

Its friday,24 march 2023.

And today too, i wish for you..

But now.. it's gonna be you 

Are you willing to🌼?

                                                            ----- 🌼 ------🌼 ------🌼 -----

ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ..ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ..ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ.. ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ʟɪᴠᴇ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ..#ɴɪʀᴍᴀʟɪᴛᴇ

chocos☺️